The drivers of Behaviour.
From outside the textbook.

Changing how you feel will change behaviour.

For example, your behaviour might be that you are shouting at the kids for some wrong doing, pressing a point to a work colleague who is wrong in their view, or simply re-running old movies in the mind connected to urks and grudges of a person who has not done right by you. In order to bother to do these behaviours you must first be motivated. That's where the emotion comes in. In this example it might be anger. If there were no anger (in this case), we simply would not waste our life doing the behavior.

Emotions have purpose - they are messengers.

So in order to change a behaviour, it’s best to change the feelings behind it. This leads to the idea that emotion has a purpose of some kind. Emotions are like the smoke from a fire; they are themselves the result of something else.

For example, One business client I worked with was getting angry enough for it to be a problem. (Lets face it, if it isn’t a problem for you, why change it - but that’s not to say you should tough it out either). His business was airconditioning. His anger button was being pressed in a number of seemingly unrelated ways.

• Key components for completing a major contract on time weren’t shipped.
•Workers delegated to particular responsibilities were not turning up.
•Major contracts he’d finalized months earlier remained unpaid, and new customers were complaining that work wasn’t progressing ‘as agreed’.

While he was angry, it was inappropriate to direct this emotion at the customer, regardless of what was happening behind the seen.

Core beliefs build the meanings we feel most.

While on the surface it appeared all these issues were separate unrelated incidents in his environment, each one eventually came back to one key idea held as a core belief. So instead of changing the behavior or the emotion, we dissolved the underlying belief and the problem disappeared. Change at his level also improved other areas of his life. He felt he had access to many more choices and could effectively manage business events, staff and customers successfully. He felt empowered where previously he felt like he was failing and his marriage also benefited.

Many people seek to change behaviors they see as the problem, but this is just the way your unconscious mind works to get your attention. It’s not that it’s doing anything wrong, It’s just that we’ve not been taught to look at a bigger picture of how we work.

I believe our unconscious mind wants us to become aware of our wholeness. To wake up to a bigger idea of who we are as beings and our connection with all that we’ve been separating ourselves from. We are our unconscious mind. We are our cells. We are our behaviors and beliefs.

I recall a client who felt she talked too much. She felt she was offering friends and colleagues ‘too much’ information; stuff they probably weren’t interested in and was turning people away from her. I was asked to help her with her over eager behavior of talking. Once again there was an emotion. This time it was a fear. Yet once again, behind the fear was a core belief which was driving her need to fit in and feel accepted. Even while her conscious mind knew she was ok, she often felt like she wasn’t good enough, and during our meeting it came out; "I'm not good enough!". That all changed as soon as the belief did.

Since the solution to any negative emotion must lie in the consciousness of the body that’s feeling it, it would seem that our unconscious mind is on a mission, perhaps even a grand purpose to have us choose to let go of limitation, our judgments and our belief in pain and difficulty, and begin more and more to venture outside-the-box and discover what’s really there. More of you.